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I found this written as a draft from February Im just now posting it in september...look where I was

It has been quite a while since my last post and I know exactly why. When God gave me a brand new mindset back at the end of December, I was really made brand new. But school was not back in session yet. I knew deep down that with this new found faith, the devil would be trying to break me down once school was in session and everything was back to normal...And boy was i right...

I'm doing okay right now. I am proud to say that I've been in church every Sunday this year so far. That may not sound like much to some people but for me that's grrrreat! I feel like this year is going to be so spectacular and the only way that it wont be is if I stand in the way of my own blessings.

Its funny how I am always the one to encourage others in times of self doubt. I am always making sure everyone else has the best esteem and and a smile on their face, but man when its time to take your own advice?? That's when i don't know what to do... Its all in your head, they always say.

-Me 2/1/10

Give God Your Heart, He had it first!

In the last couple of days I've been reading Genesis. I just finished the book. In between my readings a friend of mine told me to look at Amos. On my way to Amos I stumbled across the book of Joel. And family, let me tell you as a child of God, not new to His love but new to fully recognizing His love, I definitely felt the love of our God after reading that book. In just 3 chapters He showed me such love and strength.

In this book Joel the Prophet gives an account of a terrible locust invasion. The locusts come in thousands on their land eating up everything. Joel said it was like God leading them, an army across the lands. Joel 1:11 "The Lord thunders at the head of His army; His forces tremble are beyond number, and mighty are those who obey His command. The day of the Lord is great; It is dreadful. Who can endure it?" Talk about total devastation?! There was nothing left. Here is Joel telling these people do you see what God can do!? Make sure you tell your children so they can tell their children and so on.

Joel urged the priests to prepare a national day of prayer to honor our Eternal God because he knew that It was God and only God who controlled the locusts and could restore what they had destroyed.

What got me the most was these verses Joel 1:12-13" 'even now,' declares the Lord, 'Return to me with all your heart, with fasting weeping and mourning. Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love and He relents from sending calamity.' "

This to me is saying that even in times of devastation "return to me with all your heart". No matter what happens return to Christ because he is a loving and compassionate God. Back then people used to mourn and show anguish by tearing their garments. But God wanted more than external change, He wants to see the change in your heart. WOW.

Our insides and our outsides need to be on one accord. You cant do things of the world but be of Christ on the inside. People are not going to recognize you as a child of the Most High, if you are of the world in your spirit. There is a song out now called "King in You" by Donald Lawrence and Donald said his father was a pastor and when he would act up his father would ask him "do you know who you are?" He's saying that we are children of God. If we came from him and are made in His image then we have Him within us. When your heart and your flesh conflict, your spirit gets confused because you're not 100% sure..no, convinced of who you are. You have to believe that He lives in you.

Its not going to be easy at first to get your flesh and your spirit to be one. But as i stated in the last post, you can recognize the need to do it, but that's not enough. You have to have that desire for them to be one. In your heart. When you place your heart in to the world it hurts God because He gave you that heart. He knows what you are capable of. God knows your heart! Its His, give it back. Love y'all, stay blessed!

Stop "Rock-Blockin" and Just Let God Work!

It is mind boggling how mysteriously God works in our lives. Just when you thought things were going to be the worst, they turned out the best. What other god do you know can make things happen that way? What other God do you know can rule and manifest all of His glory over thousands of years and still be King of Kings after all that time has passed?

It is amazing how in the bible any passage you read exudes more wisdom with each time you read it. He speaks life to those who wish to live. It's amazing how much you think you're living before you know Him. Its amazing how you can grow in him, and keep growing all the days of your life because there is no man who could live long enough to gain all of his wisdom.

It seems as though God presents us with chances and chances because He knows we will fail sometimes and succeed sometimes. But what He wants to see is that we are learning from our failures and being humble in our successes. He wants to see that we thank Him anyhow in our pitfalls and remember to give Him the honor and credit when we have a victory. That is why we get chances, chances to get it right. And like Pastor Anderson of Sword of the Spirit Christian Center said, because we have have the blood of Adam in our veins we can never be perfect. But we can work towards that perfection. Because we serve such an Almighty God we can have faith that we will excel through the ways of the heavens and not the world. God wants to see us strive for a perfection that we can only reach when we meet with Him.

We as children of God are meant to be victorious, but how victorious we are is all determined by how willing we are to do only what it takes to win in Christ. Often times we get in our own way, or we get in Gods way of victory. I've learned that if I'm about to do something and I feel a slight itty-bitty tugging on my heart..that means its probably not something i need to go forward with. I know that now. Before I would say well "im not always gonna feel 100% about every decision I make.." WRONG! If its in God's will there will BE NO DOUBTS! Don't follow your heart..follow GOD's heart...dont follow your gut...follow your GOD. Family, help is here..how bad do you want it? Don't "rock-block" We are Blessed!

We Gotta Push Harder...

Whats on my mind?? this...
I thought that I would be strong enough to turn down anything displeasing to God because I prayed about it before it happened…

Well its not that easy…the next step I think God is trying to show me is that im not strong enough to look the devil in his face just yet. I need to train for this fight more before I go in to battle.

For example:

…my sword is still dull…my words are my sword… what is yours? Here are some examples you may be familiar with…

• I need to say what I mean and mean what I say because when you joke a lot people don’t take you seriously and because I’m a nice person I let it go a lot….no more letting it go..i mean it dang on it! (now how many of y’all honestly don’t believe me?..smh…see what I mean!?) no more of that
• What good is saying to yourself “nah I can’t do that because it’s not pleasing to God…” if you don’t whole heartedly believe it yourself?

…my shield has holes in it…my holes are the excuses I make for my actions…what are yours? Here are some examples you may be familiar with…

• oh this one more drink won’t hurt (hole!)
• oh it is kind of late..buttt we’re jus chillin…(hole!)
• you wana just watch a movie? I might fall asleep here but we’re just friends so it’s cool…(HOLE)…smh…

my armor is too big so its weight is holding me back…more… bigger excuses… what weight makes your armor too heavy? Here are some examples you may be familiar with…

• I’m so tired..ill read my bible tomorrow…(1000’s of pounds)
• I’m too tired..and church is so earlyyyy…(1000’s of pounds)
• Dear Heavenly Father, I really need some money, Amen…yea girl I’m broke..i jus prayed for some money, so maybe I can go to the club with you next week….(1000’s of pounds)
• I know this is wrong but God will forgive me..right? (1000’s of tons)

…my helmet covers my eyes so I can’t even see the next attack coming, for the most part…sometimes I see it and still go forward with it…like a big dummy…but i digress... what covers your eyes? Here are some examples you may be familiar with…

• What girl!? You’re not goin to that Iota party? Just go for a little bit, stop being corny!
• Just come to the club..i got all your drinks…just come
• Aye, I need you to write a hook to this joint im workin on..it’s about big booty hoes smoking weed in the club before I smash that…basically..you can write that for me? I think imma need you to sing it too…come on its just a hook, it’s not like your doin that stuff, your just singing about it…its just a song…
  

FAIL…

But me being the “strong minded over confident that I can do anything I put my mind to sinner” that I am... thought I had It under control…


Family,

In order for God to make you over and for you to succeed you have to give him your entire being…you cant have one holy foot in the kingdom and the other stanky leg in the club….you cant have one hand in Gods cookie jar and the other on a shot at Cookies bar….you cant have one ear listenin out for a sign from heaven and the other jamming to hot 97…you cant have one cheek in church and the other—well u get it…

My God is not a half way God so I cant be a half way child…it’s a spiritual recession and we cant afford to keep paying the Devil, the cost is too great and I want that name brand love I want that G-love…Gods love is free if you pursue it..He already paid man!

Its true…Love can be “a word that comes and goesssss…” but you are not love…God is. You need to come and stay. We need to come and stay and never go away from Him… Love ya’ll…If you like this you can comment or repost it Its all for His glory… God Bless Guys.